flowers and other stuff.

productivity! what a great feeling. :-) Gardening has such a feel good factor. It is doing something with your hands, it is progress, it is hard work in which you can visibly see the benefits. I really can't wait to have my own garden, to grow vegetables and roses and other flowers i don't know the name of yet :-)

sunny days make everything seem like a good idea

I woke up so late this morning. Mostly due to the fact that I stayed awake talking with some friends until 2.30, then wrote a blog. I feel like I wasted a lot of my time on dreams that probably weren't even that good (seen as I can't remember them). After waking up, I seemed to have come to the conclusion that I should move around very slowly. Which only adds to the feeling of waste.

I want to be one of those people who is able to make the most out of a morning, to be able to get things done. I hate it that I am lazy. I really am though. There is no denying it; I am lazy. What a horrible horrible trait.

Following a long shower, I went down the road to "64" and played with the kids in the garden. I got beaten at swing ball by a 7 year old. Not good times. In my defense, he was well good! We played some volley ball, croquet, frisby; how it reminded me of LST. I miss those days (mostly the people, not the guilt over not revising).

I having been thinking a lot today about the next step for me. I honestly don't know what to do. I miss my LST friends, but I am beginning to build a nice little community right here in Loughborough. I never thought I would ever even consider staying, but I am a little bit. weird.

I quite like the idea of social work. I'll keep you updated on how long I stay on that thought for...

the battle

Regret-the worst kind of companion
follows me.
attaching himself to the very fibre of my being.

Faith- a beautiful friend
chases me.
His light shines when all else is dark.

Fear- a lonely and bitter cloud
encircles me.
I breath it in and it becomes me.

Hope-a silver shimmer of light
lifting me.
New strength is found. Jesus is his name.

I change me mind in the passing of a second

Hold onto a thought, capture it within a glass and look upon it; it is as impossible as catching the wind. My thoughts drift from east to west without pattern or purpose as decisions sit just past the tip of my finger. I long for someone to take my thoughts into their hands and place it in their hearts so that I am simply left to follow. To follow blindly and faithfully on long journeys through mountains and fields and across the oceans.

My Father holds my thoughts and collects them in a jar; he knows my thinking from afar. He tucks my heart into his and keeps me forever. He doesn't worry if I go to the east or the west, because he goes with me. If i were to ride to the furthest parts, even there he will go too. So I will wait to follow my Father, blindly and faithfully, on long journeys through mountains and across the ocean, for he has my thoughts and he has my heart.

Rest.

Stop for one whole day every week, and you will remember what it means to be created in the image of God, who rested on the seventh day not from weariness but from complete freedom. The clear promise is that those who rest like God find themselves free like God, no longer slaves to the thousand compulsions that send others rushing toward their graves.
- Barbara Brown Taylor,

traveling mercies

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.
- Anne Lamott, from her book, Traveling Mercies

Your road to the future you dreamed of: Do an internship (participants from upper middle class families only)

The most frustrating and crushing experience is to be unemployed. In the current recession the people who have been hit the hardest and worst within the UK are those aged between 18-25. People leaving university have stalled on their way to the working world, we are caught between university student-dom and employment and nobody seems to be helping us restart the engine.Vacancies are being filled by more experienced candidates; not many employers want to take a risk on young graduates. We are told to do an internship or volunteer but the same people conveniently seem to forget that unless you have a wealthy family within the London area who can support you, an Internship that does not provide financially for you is out of the question.

An entire generation of young people are left frustrated with the system, angry at the world and disappointed with themselves. Young people are already living with poor self image and a lack of confidence. Feelings of inadequacy and failure haunt and frustrate what could have been a talented and vibrant generation of young people, if only they were given the space to grow.


My fear is that young adults will be forced into jobs they do not want and do not find fulfilling simply because that is all that was offered to them. Consequently, an entire age of people will be unfulfilled and disillusioned with life.

Now is the time for the leaders in our society to stand up for my forgotten generation. Don't give us words, give us life, choices, opportunities. empower us to change what we do not like in our world and to go for our dreams. We need a platform to shine, a chance to be apart of the world around us.

We need help so that we can help ourselves.